Freedom is being you without permission – Unknown
The Blame Game. Do you know it?
“Oh, I can’t get my e-book written because the kids are driving me crazy every evening!”
“I can’t start my new business because my husband says it will take away too much of our time together.”
“I can’t write the blog posts I want to write because I don’t know how to use Word Press and I have to wait until I can hire a virtual assistant.”
“I want to do my marketing on Facebook but I don’t know how to use it!”
Does any of that sound familiar?
We come up with excuses every day of our lives for things we say we want to do but we don’t do them.
And those excuses hide our fear, our doubt, our lack of confidence, our lack of self-esteem.
You say to yourself, “I can’t do this!”
And you’re embarrassed, ashamed, maybe even humiliated at your lack of ability to get yourself going.
That is victim energy. It’s a vicious circle. You say you want to do something and then you don’t, and then you blame yourself and tell yourself you are a loser. And then you try to do it again. And the same thing happens. Around and around it goes.
It’s like a vampire sucking away at the rest of your time on this planet.
How do you know when victim energy has taken over? You need to recognize it as soon as it comes in, like a bad storm on the sea. Just as you would see the lightning and crashing of waves far off in the distance, you will start to feel bad, you will start having negative thoughts.
Possibly something has happened to you that tripped up your gears and caused you to start feeling angry or sad or despondent. This is reactive living. By reacting constantly to events, situations, people, we allow our emotions to follow the lead of others, we allow ourselves to change our emotional state to reflect what’s out there. You have allowed that someone or something to tell you how to feel!!!!
Just know that we have a CHOICE about the way we feel about our work and our goals. We can choose our emotions, it is one thing we have complete control over. How can you choose differently? If you find yourself angry, if you can, pull back from the situation, go take a walk or go outside and find nature and ask yourself, is it really ok to be angry about this? Is this a good use of my energy and time?
How do you break through? Identify the blame as victim energy. Give it a name. Call it out. And then kick shame, fear, embarrassment, and humiliation to the curb. When I feel those icky feelings come over me, I do a physical karate chop in the air and yell “I am here!” This helps me bring myself to present tense and I am now in the present instead of my head and am no longer sparring with those useless emotions. And then I stand up and shake and jump around the room a bit to clear it all off. Physical motion always helps.
It’s very important to stop repeating the things that cause you stress and worry, that make you feel bad. It’s like a tire stuck in the mud and the wheel keeps spinning. You must get yourself out of the same old tire tracks that you laid down years and years ago and start creating a new emotional path for yourself, one that FEELS GOOD.
Be mindful of the “oh-woe-is-me” rant. How nothing is working for you and life just seems to be in the pit
This might sound strange but consider that this moment in time when you feel at your lowest, your worst when something has fallen apart, consider that THIS is actually an opportunity, not a problem! Can you see it that way?
Because if you CHOOSE to take this opportunity and find a new way to look at things, find a new perspective that puts you in the driver’s seat, you will have made a RADICAL shift in your life, just by changing your thoughts!
You have the power! You are in control of your emotions, your emotions control your actions and your actions control your destiny. So if you talk yourself out of doing that thing that you know you need to do, like write a book, or teach a class, or start a YouTube channel or go for that new job – if you don’t go forth and try, you will never know what could happen. Destiny changes at the drop of a hat, at the change of ONE thought. What if you thought YES instead of no?
If you put forth the thought, create the vision in your mind and hold onto that vision, day in, day out, the universe will align with your energetic force and will give you what you seek. It’s universal law. If you believe it, you will see it.
What is your VISION? What is your dream life all about? Who do you want to help?
It all comes down to helping others, doing well by doing good. How you help others determines how much value you offer. Your vision for how you are helping others is a critical first step in seeing that you are here to play a much bigger game.
I’ll tell you what my Vision is for my business:
I work with Changemakers, Disrupters and Wholehearted Entrepreneurs who are here to MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Who says NO to the “reality” that the world presents to them, who are willing to create their OWN reality, their OWN business, and who are ready to take charge of their own lives!
Can you describe your vision for you and for the world? This is your foundation, your reason to be here, your Big Why. It gives you power! When you feel off or at your wit’s end, you will come back and re-read this paragraph over and over again to re-connect with who you are. Why not describe it, right here and now?
Then join me in The Visibility Lab and shout out your Vision!
Describe your dream vision for yourself and the world here: